Our journey of fertility treatment has come to an end. In His divine wisdom, the Lord chose to answer our request with a “No,” at least for now.
Before we jumped onto the train of fertility treatments, my husband and I sat down and had long, hard talks about how far we were willing to ride the train. We came to a mutual decision before we ever stepped foot into the clinic, and we vowed to hold one another accountable to jump off the train when the time came.
The time has come to jump off.
At the beginning of our time at the clinic, I spent a lot of time studying Psalm 13. This commentary quote on that Psalm really stuck with me all through our treatment: “When all means fail, [faith] must keep God in sight.” Even though the treatment failed me, God has not failed me. I certainly don’t understand what He is up to, but he is up to something! Though it is perfectly okay for me to grieve this loss of a dream, it is not at all okay for me to fall into bitter despair. One day, Jesus is going to tell me why. It may not be until heaven, but one day this pain and difficulty will make sense.
In the meantime, we are taking a break. No more cycle tracking, no more OPKs, no more doctor’s visits. We are taking some time to grieve and to heal. We are taking some time to seek God’s face about what He has next for us. Please pray for us and with us in the months ahead as we come before the Lord for strength and healing.
L. Berrus 
Thinking of you, friend. What a difficult and sobering day. But I so admire your attitude. And I’m 100% convinced that God is not done with you and His plans for you. xoxo Much love and prayers.
I have a friend here who had been trying and trying to get pregnant after 4 years she finally is. I mentioned you and she told me to tell you Take a vacation. A 30 day vacation and just relax and enjoy the time with your husband. It took her two 30 day vacations but 4 years of actively trying and they did all they could. And in the end it was on vacation she got pregnant. I know it’s easier said then done. But I’m just passing on her message. Big hugs Love you much sis.
I am praying for you. I believe God has BIG things in store for you! He is the God of impossibles and He always acts SUDDENLY! So keep expecting the impossible to come suddenly into your life! 🙂 hugs!
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